ongoing
A few weeks ago, I was home
Now I wonder
Recent events have highlighted ongoing events
It seems consciousness is a flashlight
dividing shadows and causing strife amidst the darkness
Doesn't take much to spin us around does it?
Now I wonder
Recent events have highlighted ongoing events
It seems consciousness is a flashlight
dividing shadows and causing strife amidst the darkness
Doesn't take much to spin us around does it?
posted by Tribellian at
14.3.08
1 Comments:
Writing wise, I'd put a line break before the last line - it's a reflection back on the stream-of-consciousness that goes on in the previous four lines.
I'd like to see you elaborate on the line "dividing shadows and causing strife amidst the darkness"
maybe instead of "strife", say "striations", which go along with your analogy and references "strife" by similar sound-word choice and also "striations" make me think of ridges and conflict . . .
Home is where the heart is... good stuff -
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